Do you ever just feel angry and you’re not sure why? Do you snap at others for no apparent reason? Sometimes, people use the terms anger and aggression interchangeably; however, these terms are not the same. Anger is a feeling or emotion, where aggression is a behavior that happens as a result of an emotion or feeling. So, what are some reasons why we might be angry but not sure why?
According to Margarita Tartakovsky, M.S, it may be that “you have weak boundaries. You say yes when you really want to say no. You do things for others that you don’t feel comfortable doing. You’re constantly drained and depleted”. This is something you may not even be aware of at the time. She also acknowledges the difficulty one might face when a friend or partner doesn’t meet our expectations.
Another reason you may be angry is due to not sleeping well. When we don’t sleep well, we have a tough time processing things and being able to effectively cope. Encountering stress or anxiety at a time when we are deprived of sleep can decrease our ability to tolerate frustration.
There are several small ways you can decrease feelings of anger, as published in the National Forum Journal of Counseling and Addiction:
- Take 3 deep breaths
- Change your environment
- Know why you feel angry
- Let go of what is beyond your control
- Express yourself
- Be cautious
- Be assertive, not aggressive, when expressing yourself
Anger is not always a bad thing. Feelings of anger can be helpful in certain situations. Learning to accept and understand your anger is key to managing these feeling effectively.